I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' - she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
I won't use the escalator at the mall any more. Slipped on it yesterday and fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.
I feel for the lost and abandoned kittens living out on the street... Most of that comes from a blown shock, but I feel for them.
You have just engendered the ire of my co-pilot who is an inveterate cat person. Now, I have to live with that - thanks a lot buddy.
When did protesting about a robbery suspect getting shot do death turn into riots and that leads to looting? Why do people think it it ok to steal from a business that had nothing to do with the original issue they are protesting. WTF?