Engine Drivetrain 3rd Gen How to check the oil on an F56

Discussion in 'Tuning and Performance' started by Spa2k, Jun 15, 2014.

Tags:
  1. Spa2k

    Spa2k Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2013
    1,955
    975
    113
    Iowa
    Ratings:
    +975 / 0 / -0
    Checking the oil on my R56 JCW this morning (by way of a gen-u-ine dipstick!) reminded me just how bizarre the process is on the new F56. (I had one as a loaner for three days last week.)

    First, the engine has to be warm - after 30 minutes of driving, according to the owner's manual. Then, with the engine running, you press the Menu button on the radio, press Vehicle Status and press Engine Oil Level to see the oil level. During this process, engine RPMs automatically increase from idle to about 1,100 for a minute or so - which seems like a silly waste of gas in a vehicle that's full of electronic methods for saving it. :crazy:

    As with the coolant temperature gauge (which appears only when the engine is cold and disappears when the engine reaches normal operating temperature), there are alerts that tell you when you have too little or too much oil - or that disaster already has struck. :crazy:

    Sorry, MINI, but I still want a dipstick. :frown2:
     
  2. Zapski

    Zapski Well-Known Member

    May 4, 2011
    2,099
    889
    113
    Columbus, OH
    Ratings:
    +938 / 0 / -0
    If it did have a dipstick, you'd still have to buy a better one than it came with ;)
     
  3. Spa2k

    Spa2k Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2013
    1,955
    975
    113
    Iowa
    Ratings:
    +975 / 0 / -0
    What's CravenSpeed going to do now? At least the no-dipstick Audis have a hole in the block where you can plug in an accessory dipstick. :idea:
     
  4. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

    Mar 30, 2009
    25,144
    10,052
    113
    Writer
    Short North
    Ratings:
    +10,069 / 0 / -0
    They will develop a dipstick and holder for same...

    I have no idea really, that is just pure 100% speculation.

    However, Kellen, if you do use my idea you know where to send the royalty checks. :ihih:
     
  5. Spa2k

    Spa2k Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2013
    1,955
    975
    113
    Iowa
    Ratings:
    +975 / 0 / -0
    I get half!!!

    Since everyone thinks the 3-cylinder is such a strong engine, maybe BMW could remove the spark plug, piston and all the other junk from the No. 2 cylinder and use that hole for the dipstick. :Thumbsup:
     
  6. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
    Lifetime Supporter

    May 4, 2009
    25,021
    13,497
    113
    Burbs of Philly, PA
    Ratings:
    +14,644 / 10 / -4
    I think it's funny the car has no dipstick, because most people (dipsticks) that buy new cars of any make ever check the oil or even know how too.

    Most people do not even check the tire pressure without a monitor light coming on or look at brakes until they see the brake pad light. Ugh the world is so lazy.

    Will next Gen will come with a air filter light? :rolleyes:
     
  7. Spa2k

    Spa2k Well-Known Member

    May 9, 2013
    1,955
    975
    113
    Iowa
    Ratings:
    +975 / 0 / -0
    But there will be plenty of in-car technology for posting on Facebook, shopping on Amazon and probably taking selfies while you're supposed to be driving. Talking on the phone won't even be interesting to car aimers (they're not drivers) anymore. :mad2:
     
  8. Apok

    Apok New Member

    Jun 15, 2013
    776
    357
    0
    Sadly, finance. The most boring job in the world.
    Columbus, Ohio
    Ratings:
    +357 / 0 / -0
    Wait.... What?

    It doesn't have a dipsti....

    Thats just, just, WTF?
     
  9. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
    Lifetime Supporter

    May 4, 2009
    25,021
    13,497
    113
    Burbs of Philly, PA
    Ratings:
    +14,644 / 10 / -4
    Yup, just the one behind the wheel. :ihih::lol:
     
  10. MCS02

    MCS02 Moderator
    Staff Member Articles Moderator Supporting Member

    Jul 31, 2009
    11,164
    6,170
    113
    Male
    Ratings:
    +7,876 / 10 / -3
    The age of Aquarius is dead, welcome to the age of the Idiots.

    [ame=http://youtu.be/kjxSCAalsBE]The 5th Dimension Age of Aquarius 1969 - YouTube[/ame]
     
  11. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
    Lifetime Supporter

    May 4, 2009
    25,021
    13,497
    113
    Burbs of Philly, PA
    Ratings:
    +14,644 / 10 / -4
    Maybe your car will tweet you that your oil is low. :rolleyes:

    Better yet, Maybe it will post it on Facebook that you don't take care of your car and you are low on washer fluid, oil, air in tires, and your brakes.
     
  12. Angib

    Angib New Member

    Nov 25, 2009
    824
    425
    0
    (Old) England
    Ratings:
    +425 / 0 / -0
    Hey, I bet none of you guys dip your fuel tank with a calibrated stick, like real men do*, and instead you just rely on that silly little gauge on the dashboard.....

    *I believe the last car that came with a marked stick for dipping the fuel tank was the Trabant, that triumph of the East German peoples' car industry. As an example of superior design, note how the reinforcing rod for the hood makes an handy place to store the dipstick when not in use:

    [​IMG]
     
  13. agranger

    agranger MINI of the Month June 2009
    Supporting Member

    Apr 22, 2009
    2,188
    1,483
    113
    Project Manager
    Charlotte, NC
    Ratings:
    +1,863 / 2 / -0
    #13 agranger, Jun 16, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2014
    I picked up my new Porsche Cayman about a month ago. I'm disappointed in 2 things:

    1. No Dipstick... it's all electronic monitoring (though the check process is a bit more intuitive than the one described for the F56).

    2. An electric parking brake. Really? For daily driving it's fine, but I used to love doing e-brake turns in the snow. :D

    I guess it's a complete change in the way we see cars... or rather the auto manufacturers finally yielding to the way that 99% of people on the road see their cars: a transportation appliance. The engine in the Cayman isn't accessible via any hatch. I've yet to figure it out, but apparently I've got to remove a fair amount of carpeting and a dozen Torx bolts to be able to see the engine. Much of the major repair work is done by dropping the engine out the bottom of the car. The coolant and oil fill ports are actually INSIDE the cabin area... making me a bit nervous about spillage while refilling (though many Porsche owners will simply go to the dealership for service). Thank goodness I'm in a short lease on this one!
     
  14. Rebound

    Rebound New Member

    Nov 16, 2016
    4
    0
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    How do you like the Cayman, apart from it being designed against home mechanics?
     
  15. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

    Jul 20, 2009
    1,650
    1,333
    113
    Highly motivated retiree
    In the here and now, for now.
    Ratings:
    +1,339 / 0 / -0
    My question is this: If the oil level sensor/nanny/whatever fails and the engine seizes due to low oil level, who pays the bill? Same goes for a system failure on these dang automatic brake systems with TV commercial idiots falling asleep behind the wheel. The message that sends make my blood boil.
     
  16. DneprDave

    DneprDave Well-Known Member
    Supporting Member

    Oct 23, 2010
    2,952
    1,500
    113
    Engineer
    Pacific NW
    Ratings:
    +1,721 / 0 / -0
    You could just drill and tap the sump for a little valve right at the proper oil level. Open the valve and if oil comes out, your good. If no oil comes out, add oil until it does.

    I had a 1939 Fordson tractor that had that system for checking the oil.
     
  17. Crashton

    Crashton Club Coordinator

    Jun 4, 2009
    19,424
    10,031
    113
    Retired old fart
    Hooterville Ohio USA
    Ratings:
    +11,656 / 2 / -0
    Soon there will be a big label on the hood that says NO USER SERVICEABLE PARTS INSIDE. There will also be an 800 phone number & possibly a credit card slot. The world is getting tougher for car guys. :incazzato:
     
  18. Rebound

    Rebound New Member

    Nov 16, 2016
    4
    0
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    I hate this nonsense.
    My car is a 2012 Prius Plug-in with 100K miles. I used to think there was nothing I could service, but now I've done all kinds of work on it. The car has a basic four cylinder engine... it's simple enough.

    What I learned is that the manufacturer design and maintenance schedule is intended to get you to 100,000 miles or five years trouble-free. After that, they don't care. So Toyota has no recommendations for changing engine coolant, brake fluid, or transmission fluid.

    So far I've:
    Replaced spark plugs
    Replaced engine coolant
    Replaced inverter coolant (2nd radiator)
    Flushed brake fluid
    Lubricated brake caliper pins
    (no brake pads - Prius pads last about 200K miles)
    Replaced tranny fluid
    Cleaned EGR pipe, throttle body and MAF sensor

    These are all preventative measures. The most important was lubricating the brake pins. Mine were bone-dry. My next task will be to pull the intake manifold and clean it out to make sure no clogs develop.

    All this is just basic maintenance any car should get. Manufacturers shouldn't make this stuff difficult.
     
  19. Crashton

    Crashton Club Coordinator

    Jun 4, 2009
    19,424
    10,031
    113
    Retired old fart
    Hooterville Ohio USA
    Ratings:
    +11,656 / 2 / -0
    Good on you for not being one of the sheep who won't open the hood & check fluids. As long as the maker gets your car out of warranty it's all good. After than please buy a new car. :crazy:
     
  20. Rebound

    Rebound New Member

    Nov 16, 2016
    4
    0
    0
    Ratings:
    +0 / 0 / -0
    I'll say! Almost all of the items I mentioned aren't listed in the Toyota maintenance schedule at any mileage! And the spark plugs -- ok, they use radium plugs that last 120K miles, but -- you have to pull out everything beneath the windshield to reach the spark plugs. The wipers come off, then the big plastic thing that runs the width of the car at the windshield base comes off, then the huge windshield wiper motor assembly beast comes out, then the tray beneath which spans the width of the car comes out -- and THEN you can access the spark plugs!

    I just came back from the Mini dealership, and accessibility on a Mini looks worse -- at least, a Mini with a turbo looks pretty bad for access. But that John Cooper Works car looks pretty sweet.
     

Share This Page