Separate names with a comma.
You gotta believe in something - I believe I'll have another beer.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so why not get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal!
Always remember - wherever you go - there you are.
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. Mickey Rooney - RIP
My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. Mike Myers
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd be eating frozen radio dinners. Johnny Carson
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
I pretend to work - they pretend to pay me.
Entropy isn't what it used to be.
Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance. George Bernard Shaw
The road to success is always under construction.
