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I took another tack in the search and believe I found a source. There is about 4 oz. left in a bottle of Hiram Walker Kümmel that I saved...

That's really clever 'cause I always find stuff in the last place I look.

+1 what he said. Besides, if it's been up a while you want to give it a good cleaning before running it down again anyway. Be very conscious of...

It's sad when a magician needs to sneeze but he can't get his hankie out because it's too damn long.

The return spring on mine is weak so I just jiggle the strap as it works it's way back in. My co-pilot, on the other hand, doesn't pay attention...

On the chest of a barmaid from Sale Was tattooed all the prices of ale. Whilst on her behind for the sake of the blind, Was precisely the same...

Not distilled spirits, but I drove to a new friend's house to give him a ride on our way to celebrate Robert Burns birthday this evening and he...

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.â€

I was always told to respect my elders but as time goes by, it's getting harder and harder to find any.

...happens to pastor Weaver every time he sneaks into the neighborhood liquor store.

I never leased anything in my whole life except getting a new lease on life after bypass, so answer this question for me. Had my co-pilot and I...

I do have concerns about the proliferation of built in high tech nanny assistants; reliability and reliability. Anvils and crowbars are extremely...

It can't possibly be cold. We're suffering from the effects of global warming, doncha know.

The secret to life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made! Huge disclaimer: I'm sharing that, not advocating it.

Not even duct tape can fix stupid. But it can sure muffle the sound.

OH DAMMIT!! You did it just like I told you to!

My, how the level of intellectual acuity deteriorates over time when the imagination is loosed upon the subject at hand.

Seen on the wall right next to that: "Eat %&*#, 10 million flies can't all be wrong.

Then it stands to reason there would be a special flatulence for midgets too. (Based solely upon past commentary.)

Had I let the 'flip' quote pass without remark, would you have felt scorned?