3rd Gen F56 Cooper S 2014 MINI F56 S Caught Nekkid...

Well, that settles it. Whichever MA member receives the first F56 must name it "Marty." Or else.



Open letter to the post-Stephenson MINI styling teams:

"YOU HAVE BEEN SAT TO LONG HERE FOR ANY GOOD YOU HAVE BEEN DOING. DEPART, I SAY, AND LET US HAVE DONE WITH YOU. IN THE NAME OF GOD, GO!"

 

I do agree with ya there Mark. The white around the edge does make them look like Eyes, but think how great the add on eye lashes will look now. :lol:

Jim

 

I love the new mechanicals, but I'm not too thrilled with the styling details – especially the lumpy front end, the Liberace chrome package and the taillights so large they look Photoshopped on. :frown2:

Fortunately, my next MINI will be the 2015 300-hp JCW hardtop, so there's plenty of time for a mid-cycle refresh on the body. :lol:

 

The lights.... All of them... They are hideous, and kill anything the might have got right with the new design!
Its not like the aftermarket can help that either... The whole size and shape looks as if somebody fish eyed it in photoshop!

Makes me sick MINI has gotten this bad! I would save some cash and get a new turbo KIA optima over that thing.

 

Stop looking a pictures of the new MINI now. Apparently it causes dementia. A KIA?!? :eek6:

 

But its like a pack of coyotes going after a baby lamb that wandered out of the heard... Or the harry shemale thing in line at Wally World... Maybe the horrific car wreck they are trying to hide with sheets on the interstate...
You cant help but look at it, but deep down you know you are going to not like what you see.

 

Ok here is my DAVE.0 visual review whether you want it or not. :lol:

Wow cool a NEW MINI and look it's Orange and looks just like a Halloween jack-o-lantern.

Maybe the high school kids will come and smash it after Halloween if we are lucky.:lol:

That car is so ugly it looks like the little fish from Finding NEMO fish slept with a FIAT. Yup a FIAT.

Also what's up with the mail slot hood scoop? It's a Turdblow and does not need air coming in the scoop for the intercooler like the R53. It needs more air down low were the turbo I/C located. Maybe the scoop is just to try and look cool like an R53 who knows.

I see MINI also found some old huge Lincoln Navigator taillight and put them to use.

I can't look at that car anymore I just ate Dinner.

 

Maybe if it had a front splitter......? LOL

 

Mark, that photo--you should pass it on to MINI USA, it should be the first officially offered roof graphic for the F56.

 

Does the F stand for fugly? :lol:

 

Feldman.

 

The headlights and taillights are not proportional to the rest of the body.

Mechanicals sound promising.

Not sure how I feel overall about the car. Liking my R56 more and more.

 

It's all becoming so much clearer now.

I might actually buy one now just because I want to name a car "Abby Normal" oh so bad....

 

Thanks MINI...

I couldn't sleep last night because, I kept seeing that front end picture coming at me with the grille painted red, and the big stupid eyelashes!

This is what modifying a MINI is coming down to...

 

You mean like this? :lol:

CarLashes are on sale right now through Groupon. (Don't ask me how I know ...) :eek6:

 

I had a boat named that.

 

I think the lights are so big to make the bigger car look smaller.
I could live with the back but that front bumper has to go.

The good news is MINI has a new exterior designer. Maybe it will get a face lift by the time the convertible comes out.

 

Record sales will be expected when that comes out.....by Lifan.

 

Thanks for your review Dave O. It was negative as always, so I figure if you don't like it, then MINI must be headed in the right direction. I like it even better now.

Jim