In my normal morning routing of scouring the net for all thing MINI of interest I came across this piece on ENCToday With permission by the author to repost here... I've also invited the author to join M/A. Enjoy... Drivers, stop driving me crazy Sharon Miller Guest columnist While I realize that most of us understand and appreciate the driving etiquette of Eastern North Carolina, I feel compelled to offer a refresher course to those new to the area who seem unfamiliar with this concept. As Bruiser (my 2006 convertible Mini Cooper) and I begin our daily suicide mission to work, we often have conversations (one-sided, but still conversationally effective) about the interesting choices made by our fellow road runners. Bruiser and I share many laughs, many stares, lots of dead animals, and too many near-death experiences. So, to help save the life of someone near and dear to me (Bruiser), I’d like to share my extensive driving experiences with those that share the road with me each day. To Pull-Out-Patty: You’re a courageous little thing. You like to pull out in front of us just before we get there. Bruiser and I have bets on if you’ll do it or not, but you usually do. Please Patty, just allow at least one city block distance before deciding to pull out in front of us. Bruiser gets very scared when I hit the brakes because you pulled out onto the road with just 20 feet between you and us going about 60 mph. Although I know you’re in a hurry, based on your eventual speed of 35 mph in a 55 mph zone, I would really prefer that Bruiser doesn’t soon find himself at the gate of that big car lot in the sky. To Darting Danny: You’re adventuresome and you like a good challenge. While playing the game of “Let’s see how close you can get to me before I dart across the road†may seem like barrels of fun for you, Bruiser and I are not so much amused. If I am forced to squeal tires when you cross the road at an intersection, it may be cutting it a little close. Rock out to some tunes and just wait until you have an appropriate amount of time to cross. To Turn Now Tammy: You are usually distracted or unfamiliar with the area. It’s OK if you just ride by the turn that you are about to miss. No one will judge you if you have to ride by, turn around and then make that valuable turn. Seeing your bumper two feet from my face just seems to mess up my day. Bruiser and I will certainly respect you more, especially in the morning. To Foul Weather Frankie: Your philosophy is “Insert rain and remove the brainâ€. While you love the excitement of hydroplaning during a hard rain, Bruiser is a little guy and gets concerned when you start skating towards us uncontrollably. He gets that “big red truck in the headlights look†and he shuts down. Please, please Freddie, slow down for bad weather. Don’t be a fool, just stay cool! To Bumper Betty: You’re a space invader; “This is your dance space, this is my dance spaceâ€. Rumor has it that one car length should separate you and the other car for every 10 mph you are traveling. Bruiser knows that he’s one really cool car and that you’re only trying to see what station his radio is on, but when the paparazzi gets too close, he gets really nervous. So relax, you’re already late for work — just enjoy the ride. To Schoolgirl Sally and Schoolboy Sammy: Get on the bus already! Pet the dog, tie your shoes, fix your hair bow, check the mail and control your wedgies before the bus arrives to pick you up. While the 20 cars waiting in line behind your big yellow coach think you are just absolutely adorable, ask Mommy and Daddy to educate you on the fundamentals of being on time and respecting the time of others. To Litterbug Larry: Seriously, Larry, throwing trash out of the window is nothing shy of lazy. Is it really that hard to dispose of your trash once you reach your destination? Volunteer Vern has enough to do without cleaning up after you. To Slow Flo: You’re not in a hurry … EVER. Bruiser and I kindly ask that you at least drive the legal speed limit. If this is not an option, then we recommend that you pull over and let the two-mile span of cars gathered behind you pass. We love the fact that you enjoy the scene as you gently drive to your destination, but Bruiser must arrive at his parking space by a certain time in order to stake claim in his daytime home. So, to all of my little friends mentioned throughout this column, you know who you are. Admission is the first step to recovery. It’s okay to admit that you need help. Bruiser and I are here for you and we wish you well as we strive for that perfect drive to work. We hope that you’ve enjoyed this crash (pun was absolutely intended) course in driving etiquette and we’ll see you on the road!
hope she does, definitely would find a home I'd ad....... Pentup Penelope. Augie and I like to go fast see and the place to do that is in the left lane, again if you missed it, the left lane is for going fast. I realize you must have the weight of the world on your shoulders but slowing down to 60mph in the left hand lane as soon as anyone gets within 10' of your bumper and then watch with glee as 6 or so cars ride up your backside is not a means to reduce that weight. The righteous indignation with hand gestures and return to speed when cars start passing you on the right is a nice touch
Around here in the "wine country" where bicyclists are imported from all parts of the country for militant drunken wine tasting: Bernie and Bernice the "cool" yuppie bicyclists, you are required by law to obey the same driving laws as automobiles, including riding in single file, using hand signals, and stopping at stop lights/signs. In addition you are required to stay within bike lanes, not pull into traffic with the hopes of slowing down traffic for your compatriots. But most importantly, if you ride your bikes while touring the wine country don't stop and taste... at every single winery. I have seen too many a bike tourist taken off in a local ambulance midway into their "wine country bike tour" after meeting a larger vehicle on the road. We all don't pull over for aggressive bike riders; we expect them to stay on the right side of the white line. In regards to those wearing obnoxious Lycra skin tight outfits, please understand you don't look good by compressing years of fat into the outfit. You would be more comfortable and easier on the local residents' demeanor (and less of a target) if you just wore old blue jeans and a comfortable tee shirt.
So who wants to do the funny about the cell phone texter being immediately obvious as they do the 30 mph speed dump as soon as they get a call, or a text?
Big Ups to Eastern NC! I concur with the article people who can't drive irk me. And to "Pull-out Patty" don't get out in front of me when there is nobody behind me and creep. Geez, wait 5 extra seconds, jerk.
Farding While Driving More Dangerous than Cell Phones. And an old favorite of mine, even older than cell phone / texting while driving. Typically performed by female drivers during morning rush hour @ 75 MPH. They can be spotted from behind when you see the rear view mirror aimed at the driver. Watch out, they aren't present. Not a typo, that's fard with a "d." It's a word derived from the French and means to apply make-up.
I'm found of NASCAR Ned, typically he's a guy (or gal) in an SUV that has to be 1mph faster than you, no matter what, they'll gun it full throttle from a stop light next to you to show how powerful their chariots of excess are and then make sure you're even with their back wheel the entire length of the road, even as you slow down to try and merge in behind them so you can make your upcoming turn. On a two lane road they'll tailgate you relentlessly until the first available passing zone, then zip by you so that they can travel at the exact same speed you were previously going, only immediately in front of you this time.
Ya know I keep looking for the "howitzer" option for every car I bought. Would make short work of all the morons on the road. So far the Mfg's have not headed my request(s). Suppose if they did I would be sitting in prison right now. "public service" would probably not be the best defense at my murder trial...........
I'm looking for a 73 Buick Estate Wagon with a 454 in it. gonna ride to work one day and if someone does something stupid... not even gonna tap the breaks. Just let several tons of good ol' fashion detroit steel do some "educating". http://americandreamcars.com/1973buickwagon022503.htm it's the second longest production car behind the 72? Cadillac El dorado....so i've been told by a friend that used to have one
Not that tapping those did much good in those cars, may as well have tried using a brick tied to a rope as an anchor for those land yachts. I miss the bumpers on the uparmored trucks we had in Afghanistan.