Funny stuff e-mail attachments

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Ofioliti, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

    May 9, 2009
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    Going thorough some old files and found these funny e-mail attachments.

    Share your favorites here and make someone laugh! :D

    pic16827.jpg pic24464.jpg pic29358.jpg
     
  2. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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  3. Steve

    Steve Administrator
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    #3 Steve, Dec 15, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2009
    [​IMG]
     
  4. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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  5. Steve

    Steve Administrator
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  6. iwashmycar

    iwashmycar Active Member

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    What goes through you're mind when someone says "Lets go for a drink?"

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

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  7. iwashmycar

    iwashmycar Active Member

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    the base system

    [​IMG]
     
  8. iwashmycar

    iwashmycar Active Member

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    #8 iwashmycar, Dec 16, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 16, 2009
    aaand all these from all the crappy economy stuff



    "Logos after the financial crisis"

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  9. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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    Ha ha! Funny stuff. Keep em coming!
     
  10. lotsie

    lotsie Club Coordinator

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    Company Memo


    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 1, 2009
    RE: Gala Christmas Party
    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
    Merry Christmas to you and your family,
    Patty
    Company Memo
    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 2, 2009
    RE: Gala Holiday Party
    In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
    Happy now?
    Happy Holidays to you and your family,
    Patty
    Company Memo
    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 3, 2009
    RE: Holiday Party
    Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
    Somebody?
    And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
    REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
    Company Memo
    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    To: All Employees
    DATE: October 4, 2009
    RE: Generic Holiday Party
    What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
    Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
    Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
    To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
    We will have booster seats for short people.
    Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
    I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
    There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
    Did I miss anything?!?!?
    Patty
    Company Memo
    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All F*%^ing Employees
    DATE: October 5, 2009
    RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
    I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
    The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
    Drive drunk and die,
    The B*tch from H*ll!!!
    Company Memo
    FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
    DATE: October 6, 2009
    RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
    I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
    In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
    Happy Holidays! Joan




    Mark
     
  11. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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    ^ I always laugh when someone blows up and says the f word. :lol:
     
  12. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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    Don't dream in public




    mancat.gif lifter.jpg dontdreaminpublic.jpg
     
  13. goaljnky

    goaljnky New Member

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    LaLaLand, Left Coast, Overpopulated and Underfunde
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  14. Redbeard

    Redbeard JCW: because fast is fun!
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    ...:shocked:

    ...... :D

    Ahahaha!!!
     
  15. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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    ^ must have an oddly-shaped head. :lol: :eek:ut:
     
  16. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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  17. Ofioliti

    Ofioliti New Member

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  18. lotsie

    lotsie Club Coordinator

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    *A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about
    which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico
    had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.*
    *The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hol
    [/FONT]
    in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.*
    *The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a
    tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by
    woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could doit and accepted the challenge.

    The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully
    pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

    Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in
    their own country?

    After much pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: *
    *Tiger Woods was right when he said, "The further you are from home, the
    harder your pecker gets."*


     
  19. PGT

    PGT Wheel Whore

    May 4, 2009
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    made this one awhile back

    hellaflush.jpg
     
  20. PGT

    PGT Wheel Whore

    May 4, 2009
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    this one just makes me rofl (every time)

    1213471033229.png
     

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