Relationship question...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by MinixB, Jul 27, 2010.

  1. MinixB

    MinixB New Member

    Jul 14, 2009
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    Owner of Silver Ring Graphics/ Make plastic bags f
    Kansas City, MO
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    If you caught your significant other dating someone else would you leave them or try to work things out? (BTW, this didn't happen to me, just wondering).
     
  2. minimark

    minimark Well-Known Member

    Jun 24, 2009
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    It's over, move on.
     
  3. goaljnky

    goaljnky New Member

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    Terminate with a vengeance. Lowest form of deceit that has ever existed.

    P.S. One night stands can be talked about, people have issues. But dating? No way in any hell.
     
  4. phydeaux

    phydeaux New Member

    May 5, 2009
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    If I EVER saw my MINI being driven by someone else... Oh, wait. We;re not talking about MINI's here, are we?
     
  5. MinixB

    MinixB New Member

    Jul 14, 2009
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    Owner of Silver Ring Graphics/ Make plastic bags f
    Kansas City, MO
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    I agree with you there but dating, oh hell no. It'd be over super fast.

    BTW, story behind the question is my sister found out that her husband found a chick on craigslist :)mad2:) to go on a date with last night and her husband lied to her about everything but my sister says since it was only once it wasn't cheating...(oh and she's about 4 months pregnant too)
     
  6. BThayer23

    BThayer23 Well-Known Member

    Jun 12, 2009
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    Sounds like there was some mistrust in the relationship before the CL incident, hence looking around on computers. Sometimes these things can be repaired with counseling, but this sounds like things have gotten out of hand. Sorry to hear.
     
  7. goaljnky

    goaljnky New Member

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    With those specifics, I say counseling is definitely worth a shot. Lord knows we men can be pigs, but if he hadn't dipped into the trough yet... Age and maturity would also play a factor. Some guys get "confused" with a pregnant wife and the uncertainty of what lies ahead and make mistakes.

    I'm just saying that when it comes to relationships, nothing is ever clear cut.
     
  8. MinixB

    MinixB New Member

    Jul 14, 2009
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    Owner of Silver Ring Graphics/ Make plastic bags f
    Kansas City, MO
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    He's 22 with the maturity of a 12 year old. He won't get a job and all he does is apparently look for chicks on the internet and play video games on the computer while his pregnant wife works two jobs and goes to school all week. Oh and they've broken up twice before they had gotten married.
     
  9. minimark

    minimark Well-Known Member

    Jun 24, 2009
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    With that description of him, what's to save? He's not accepting and taking on any of his responsibilities in the relationship now. He sounds like zero and no matter how many times you multiple zero it's still zero. Move on.
     
  10. Metalman

    Metalman Well-Known Member
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    Sep 29, 2009
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    This guy sounds like he needs to be taken out behind the wood shed and given a major tuneup. About time he grows up and start acting like a man with some responsibilities.:frown2: If not, your sister will probably be better off without him, since she's the bread winner. If she is having problems now, it'll only get worse once the baby arrives. I hope your sister has a good relationship with her parents, so she has a safe place to be after delivery. That's when a whole lot of stress happens.
    I wish her good luck.:Thumbsup:
     
  11. Johngo

    Johngo New Member
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    May 18, 2010
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    Well, if I have learned anything over the past 43 years, it would be that time and kids do not make a bad marriage better.

    I feel for your sis. Dudes that get online looking for lust will always find it. :frown2:

    Best of luck.
     
  12. Eric@Helix

    [email protected] New Member
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    May 4, 2009
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    Hit the eject button: there's no saving the relationship.
     
  13. Minidave

    Minidave Well-Known Member
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    Dec 22, 2009
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    Wow...........I'm sorry to hear about this, Stephi.

    And I really feel for your sis, she's got a tough road ahead of her, especially living where she does with no family support nearby and the baby on the way. I have to agree with the others tho, she's far better off without this loser - he'll only drag her and the child down.

    She needs to remove him, immediately.....

    And she needs to file for paternity the moment the baby arrives, have a blood or DNA test done if he won't own up to the baby and then file for child support the minute she's able. Once she has her ducks in a row she can move on and let the state take care of him - he'll either start working and paying for his child or he'll be gettin love in all the wrong places - in jail!

    The moral of the story for all those young ones following along at home - don't get pregnant with a sorry assed loser like this, no matter how cute or hot he is....
     
  14. goaljnky

    goaljnky New Member

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    Mandatory military service was meant for slugs like that.
     
  15. Dr Obnxs

    Dr Obnxs New Member

    Jun 11, 2009
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    A Man of Wit and Charm! (Just ask my wife!)
    Woodside, CA, up in the hills and trees.
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    Sad story....

    first off, like others have said she needs to protect and plan for her and the childs future. Some of this will be very hard to do because it involves planning for him being the very worst he can be. But it's really important to do.

    No matter how advanced we get with technology, in matters of the heart we're all screwed up. It SOUNDS like this guy is only fit for the trash bin, but there are reasons why she first started going out with him, and kept him. Some of the reasons may be good, most probably aren't but from the outside, we're no experts here. She needs to work on understanding why she wanted to be in such an assymetrical relationship so she doesn't repeat it in the future. Lots goes into creating a situation of such dependence, and the truth is she was one of the cooks in this particular kitchen.

    There have been lots of relationships that have had people stepping out where things have been put back together for a good future (we probably all know one or two strong couples that weren't so strong in the past). The power of forgiveness when there is an honest effort to build a future shouldn't be ignored. There are also lots and lots of examples of "once a scumbag always a scumbag" out there as well. Since I don't personally know any of the players involved, it's hard to do anything but guess.

    Best of luck to all in a shittty time.

    Matt
     
  16. Nitrominis

    Nitrominis Banned

    May 9, 2009
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    Support your sister in her decision in the matter . Decision support system is better because of child. The guy most likely will be around for at least the next 16+ years in some capacity regardless of the outcome.
     
  17. TGS91

    TGS91 New Member

    May 8, 2009
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    All sorts of warning signs going off here

    I feel bad that the child will start life without a father but by this guys actions what kind of father would he be?
     
  18. rkw

    rkw Well-Known Member

    May 7, 2009
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    And I'm sure her husband feels the same way. You need to adjust her attitude about such behavior.
     
  19. Johngo

    Johngo New Member
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    May 18, 2010
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    Sounds like a certain president a few years back.

    Intimacy is intimacy, once twice or more. You share it with someone other than the one you are married to, it is cheating.

    If she can forgive him, more power to her. She just needs to be aware that he has an issue and it may or may not be resolved.

    I wish them all the best.
     
  20. COOPERRACER7

    COOPERRACER7 New Member

    Jun 22, 2010
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    Sounds like your Sister needs counseling on self esteem. My ex girlfriend f****d a guy in the parking lot of a bar...
     

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