Fun & Games Most liked posts in thread: Scott's funny saying of the day......

I saw this on a t shirt the other day at Fontana...

Attention Vegetarians:
My food poops on your food!

 

If tomatoes are a fruit, isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?

 

I'm not saying lets go kill all the stupid people.
I'm just saying lets remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

 

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' - she said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

 

{Just got this and gotta share it}
A father asks his 10 year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know" he says bursting into tears, "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "when I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

 

When I'm bored, I send a text to a random number saying "I hid the body..... now what?"

 

I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet and sawdust bedding. No wait, Hamsters, I hate hamsters.

 

I like my guns like dems like their voters. Unregistered

(Sorry if it's too political for some. I thought it was funny)

 

The 7 P's.
Proper prior planning prevents pi$$ poor performance.

 

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

 

Dear auto correct, please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.

 

How long a minute is depends on which side of a locked bathroom door you're on...

 

"I think it's terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he has achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike".....

Willie Nelson

 

It's more fun to drive a slow car fast than it is to drive a fast car slow.

 

Women are like bacon, they look good, smell good, taste good and slowly kill men.

 

"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself." Mark Twain