Fun & Games Most liked posts in thread: Scott's funny saying of the day......

40 minutes left to get this posted:

 

There is a band named 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.

 

If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.

 

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, "In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative."
But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

 

How to open a new restaurant in my neighborhood.

 

The last three 'Shades of Gray' quotes written by a man are kinda lame so here's a quote just received by a fellow MINI person:
"Being the smartest Bush is like being the tallest munchkin."

 

A lady from Chicago is admitted to the hospital for an abortion. Two weeks later she gets a $1500.00 check in the mail. She phoned the hospital asking if this is from Obama Care. The hospital replies, "No it's from Crime Stoppers."

 

A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says; "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

 

Organic Dehydrated Water

 

Police intelligence sources in California warn that radical Muslim terrorists are vowing to kill every US Citizen in Los Angeles. Police officials estimate the death toll could be as high as 19.

 

If you get a divorce in Louisiana, are you still cousins?

 

One year after Trump is elected President.

 

I never called you stupid. But when I asked you how you spelled Mississippi and you asked if I was talking about the State or the river, it just kind of caught me off guard.

 

I was at the bar the other night and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?"
I yelled out, "Hell, I know the whole damn alphabet!"
Everyone laughed.

Well, except for that one guy.

 

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by
the woman's husband.

 

If she's pointing your gun at you, and screaming "get out", it's probably a good idea to leave that state for a while...

Ask how I know... [emoji12]

 

" it is what it is"