Fun & Games Most liked posts in thread: Scott's funny saying of the day......

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.

 

Friends don't let friends early apex.....

 

Some people see the glass as half full.
Some people see the glass as half empty.
I want to know who's been drinking out of my glass.

 

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

Steven Wright

 

Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.

 

To a woman snow is like sex.... She never knows how many inches will be produced or how long it will last.

 

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

 

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on a Donkey. But, I'd bet my ass that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes, closed, first time, every time.

 

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.

 

If the two of us were on a sinking boat and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you so much....

 

So...if you had a mouthful of Scotch old enough to vote you'd spray it on them...right?

 

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

 

Abdicate - to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

 

A pessimist is a well informed optimist.

One must first be young and dumb before he can be old and wise.

 

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

 

Remember that signals that are timed for 35 MPH are also timed for 70 MPH.

 

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

 

Thats what she said!