Fun & Games Most liked posts in thread: Scott's funny saying of the day......

:cornut: Young Adjutant to Stonewall Jackson after the battle of 2nd Manassas(Bull Run to northern types). "General we're celebrating your great victory. Would you take a glass of whiskey with us? No gentlemen thank you but no thank you. Sir why not? Well gentlemen, I'm afraid that I might like it."(true story)

Jason

 

Some people think that their life experience compensates for their lack of brain.

 

You don't notice fresh air until someone farts.

 

It's so flat were I come from you can watch your dog run away for a couple of days...

 

They say that nobody dies in their sleep, they always wake up screaming or gasping for air...

Not exactly true, my grandpa died perfectly in his sleep. The 4 other people in the car where screaming to wake him up...

 

The number of people staring at you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.

 

One of several reasons men are just happier:
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife any where any time.

 

:cornut: Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice Doggie" until you can find a rock. Will Rodgers

Jason

 

A shepherd once asked me to count his 38 sheep then round them up. So, I did and told him there were 40.

 

A small camp fire will keep you warm, but a huge fire with Sterno and Meth will be cooler. :devil::idea::mad5::lol:

 

Save the Earth, it's the only planet with Chocolate

 

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

 

Overheard at the bar at happy hour:

"If she really loved me like she said, then why did she marry me?"

 

Then I say we feed Congress all they can eat!

 

:cornut:..................and the White House.

Jason

 

Never get into an argument with someone stupider than you.