Fun & Games Most liked posts in thread: Scott's funny saying of the day......

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

 

The problem with reality is the lack of background music.

 

You know you old when you know the all the Muzak songs on the elevator.

 

When you're dead, you don't know that you're dead... It's difficult only for the others.

It's the same when you're stupid!

 

The secret to life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made!

Huge disclaimer: I'm sharing that, not advocating it.

 

99% of lawyers give the other 1% a bad reputation.

 

Lots of snow looks really nice, ok I have had enough effing snow already! Please make it stop.

 

With every scoop I hate it worse!

 

Artificial intelligence is nothing compared to natural stupidity.

 

Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

 

Bacon is the 5th food group.

 

I'm the same as you, best friends with me.

 

Not all that funny but...This is SO true!!!
"If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves." Thomas Edison

 

...happens to pastor Weaver every time he sneaks into the neighborhood liquor store.

 

I wish I were a glow worm, a glow worm is never glum, because how could you be unhappy when the sun shines out your bum?

 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

 

I'm retired. I don't do anything and I don't start until after 10:00.

 

I wouldn't belong to any club that would allow someone like me to be a member.

Marx (Groucho, that is.)