Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ScottinBend, Dec 11, 2013.

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  1. CFMINI

    CFMINI New Member

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    #181 CFMINI, Jan 4, 2014
    For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

    Steven Wright
     
  2. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #182 ScottinBend, Jan 4, 2014
    Why do sky divers wear helmets ?
     
  3. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
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    #183 Dave.0, Jan 4, 2014
    I know how fast I was going officer but the real question is how fast did you catch me going?
     
  4. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    #184 Nathan, Jan 5, 2014
    You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish.

    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eM_yLicXoU]Reo Speedwagon - The Unidentified Flying Tuna Trot - YouTube[/ame]
     
  5. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #185 ScottinBend, Jan 5, 2014
    Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
     
  6. DneprDave

    DneprDave Well-Known Member
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    #186 DneprDave, Jan 5, 2014
    If your dog poops in the neighbor's yard and nobody sees, did your dog poop in the neighbor's yard?

    --zen master
     
  7. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #187 ScottinBend, Jan 5, 2014
    Here is a great way to get rid of the neighbors dog poops from your front yard. It really works great.

    Just dribble a bit of bacon grease on them and presto, no more dog poop.


    :D
     
  8. CFMINI

    CFMINI New Member

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    #188 CFMINI, Jan 6, 2014
    Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.
     
  9. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    #189 Nathan, Jan 6, 2014
    Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.
     
  10. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #190 ScottinBend, Jan 6, 2014
    Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?
     
  11. Metalman

    Metalman Well-Known Member
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    #191 Metalman, Jan 6, 2014
    Is that the ATM with all the dents in it?
     
  12. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    #192 Firebro17, Jan 6, 2014
    I don't have a drinking problem...
    I drink - I get drunk - I fall down... No Problem! :beer
     
  13. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    #193 Firebro17, Jan 6, 2014
  14. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    #194 Nathan, Jan 6, 2014
    A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
     
  15. BlwnAway

    BlwnAway Well-Known Member

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    #195 BlwnAway, Jan 7, 2014
    We got so much snow I feel like I'm in an NBA locker room.....
    Everywhere I look there's 8-12" more than I want to see.
     
  16. CHKMINI

    CHKMINI Club Coordinator
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    #196 CHKMINI, Jan 7, 2014
    To a woman snow is like sex.... She never knows how many inches will be produced or how long it will last.
     
  17. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
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    #197 Dave.0, Jan 7, 2014
    If you love something set it free.
    If it does not comeback hunt it down and kill it.
     
  18. CFMINI

    CFMINI New Member

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    #198 CFMINI, Jan 7, 2014
    Frisbeetarianism, the belief that,
    when you die, your soul
    goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
     
  19. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    #199 Nathan, Jan 7, 2014
    If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
     
  20. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #200 ScottinBend, Jan 7, 2014
    How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
     
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