Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world?
Woman: Really?
Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere

 

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ahole.

 

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on a Donkey. But, I'd bet my ass that everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes, closed, first time, every time.

 

.837

 

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start with.

 

How come no one speaks English at the car wash until you ask if that's their $20 bill on the ground?

 

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

 

If the two of us were on a sinking boat and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you so much....

 

If you were on fire and I had a water I would drink it before I helped you. (Not to anyone particular) :devil:

 

So...if you had a mouthful of Scotch old enough to vote you'd spray it on them...right?

 

NASA would be a lot more popular if once in a while they would fight some Klingons.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol: yup . That's a good one.

 

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

 

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop

 

What do you mean the Internet was created to share educational information? Everyone knows it was created to share porn.

 

Sorry I missed your call... Leave a message at the beep and I'll call you back sometime within this next calendar year!

 

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.