Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

Uranus is about 19 times larger than Earth and at least 20 times more fun to say.

 

Actually seen on a bumper sticker: "Ski Kansas"

 

Life is like a hot bath... The longer you're in it, the more wrinkled you get.

 

If you've got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

 

Maybe this has been posted already but it's worth posting again.

Farts smell different to midgets.

 

Anybody ever do a nested case-control study to find out what midget farts smell like?

FYI: That type of study helps when the 'exposure of interest is difficult or expensive to obtain and when the outcome is rare'.

 

And, you know this how???

 

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

 

The light was yellow, sir.

 

Because I fart on midgets on they have told me so. :lol::lol:::lol::lol:

 

Sign above the men's room urinal "Why are you looking up here...the joke's in your hand"

 

Actually heard on cruise ships:
"What time is the midnight buffet?"
"Does the crew stay aboard at night or do they go home?"
No stupid questions you say?

 

I love to give homemade gifts, which one of my kids do you want?

 

Another sign above urinal: We aim to please, we hope you do, too.

 

I’m insane and responsible. This is a potent combination.

 

Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park.

 

Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinal, as it makes then soggy and hard to light.