Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

If it's tourist season, does that mean we can shoot them?

 

When I'd go on those EMS calls where the family was totally outa control, I'd sometimes have to tell 'em "Look, please relax... Your emergency is not my crisis!

 

Remember kids, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing.

 

If love is blind why is lingerie so popular?

 

When I get mad at my wife, I tighten all the lids in the house.

 

ibid., #423

 

Childhood is like being drunk: Everyone remembers what you did, except you.

 

:cornut: Don't worry. It's all laid on, the trucks will be on the drop zone.

Jason

 

After reading this again as a "Like", I realized.... How Stupid, I hardly ever said please!

 

I don't always use deodorant, but when I do, there's never enough.

- The smelliest man in the world

 

:cornut: The last time that I put odor eaters in my shoes, I disappeared for 3 days.

Jason

 

Save the earth, it's the only planet with chocolate!

 

:cornut: Young soldier to Army Medic. " But Doc, she couldn't have had gonorrhea , she was sooo good looking. You idiot, disease doesn't care what you look like and in the future, wrap that rascal."

Jason

 

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

 

War is just God's way of teaching Americans geography.

 

:cornut: Captain to newly arrived soldiers in country. " Gentlemen if you must go down town, Miss Sally's rent a face is right outside the front gate.":yikes::lol:

Jason

 

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

 

Corollary:

If you want to look young and thin, go on a Caribbean cruise.

 

Nerve cells are born and die, and fat cells – live forever!