Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd be eating frozen radio dinners.

Johnny Carson

 

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The power of really stupid people in small groups can be easily underestimated, but they're still stupid!

 

A thief broke into my house last night.....He started searching for money so I woke up and started searching with him.

 

In dog beers....I've only had one!

 

If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, then why's there a light in the refrigerator?

 

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

 

I call my bathroom Jim instead of John. It makes me feel better knowing I go every morning...

 

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Mike Myers

 

I meant to behave but there were too many other options.

 

I know you believe you think you understand what you thought you heard me say, but I am not sure you realize that what you thought you heard is not what I meant.

 

If you're legally blind, self checkout may not be for you.

 

If you're legally blind, what are you doing poking at the braille characters on the buttons of the drive up atm machine?

 

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

Mickey Rooney - RIP

 

Things you'll never hear a man say....
#49. Does this hunter's outfit make me look fat???

 

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I thought a moment and came up with the perfect non-committal remark. I wish I could remember it. Coming out of a coma does weird things to your memory.

 

I want to grow my own food, but I can't find bacon seeds.