Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

 

I'm neither for nor against apathy.

 

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge: "it's not working and I can't take it anymore, I'm going to my Mom's place."

I opened the fridge by the handle and its working fine.

 

Women who carry a little extra weight live longer than do men who mention it.

 

The question on the job application asked "have you ever been convicted of a crime" followed by "Explain why".

So I put "no" and "good lawyer".

 

Good Conduct Medal = 4 years of undetected crime.

 

The new Pope is a humble man, very much like me,
which probably explains why I like him so much! -- Donald Trump

 

In case of fire, exit building before tweeting about it.

 

A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.

 

Why do we turn down the radio when we are looking for something while driving?

 

^^^ So I can hear the voices in my head...

 

Um, I don't do that.

 

I sure do that but still don't have a clue!

 

Always remember - wherever you go - there you are.

 

Husband comes home early from work and finds a naked man in his wife's closet.
Husband: "What are you doing in my wife's closet?"
Man: "Everybody has to be someplace."

 

Without geography, you're nowhere.

 

I never make the same mistake twice. I might make it maybe five or six times, just to be sure...

 

Being very drunk is not a substitute for birth control.