"It is better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't." --- Butthole Surfers
Having children is a lot like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything is broken and there's a lot of throwing up.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying ..............."boy was that fun!"
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 220 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
Corollary: If you want people to pay attention to their driving, replace the air bags in cars with 8 inch steel spikes.