Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ScottinBend, Dec 11, 2013.

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  1. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.
     
  2. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    Roadside sign: "This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness."
    Spray painted beneath it: "NO WE WON'T"
     
  3. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    And along those same lines........
     

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  4. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.
     
  5. DneprDave

    DneprDave Well-Known Member
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    Smart people don't go into government.
     
  6. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    ......or at least they don't last long.
     
  7. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    If you woke up today, congratulations! You have another chance.
     
  8. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
     
  9. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    Went to a Jeff Dunham show and his little guy told me "I keeel you!" but just that next day my cardiologist said "I'll see you again in six months". Now I am completely confused.
     
  10. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #990 ScottinBend, Jun 26, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2014
    Being as I am a building inspector and having to deal with contractors and homeowners all day long, of late this has become my mantra.......

    Lack of prior planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
     
  11. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    The 7 P's.
    Proper prior planning prevents pi$$ poor performance.
     
  12. TheModFather

    TheModFather Well-Known Member

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    Thats one Ive got to remember!
     
  13. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    And this is up on the wall of my office.......

    Arguing with an inspector is like wrestling with a pig in the mud, pretty soon you realize the pig enjoys it.
     
  14. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    #994 Friskie, Jun 26, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2014
    However, trying to teach a pig to sing is a total waste of your time and it annoys the he11 out of the pig.
     
  15. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
     
  16. teresa wood

    teresa wood Well-Known Member
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    Wag more, bark less.
     
  17. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    You can say anything foolish to a dog and they will give you a look that says; 'Dang, you're right, I never would have thought of that.'
     
  18. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    I would be unstoppable, if it weren't for law enforcement and physics......
     
  19. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    ...or having to stop to pour a proper head on a fine craft brew...PRIORITIES...
     
  20. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    Man who run in front of car get tired; man who run behind car get exhausted.
     

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