Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ScottinBend, Dec 11, 2013.

Tags:
Most Liked Posts
Page 52 of 88
  1. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

    Mar 30, 2009
    25,144
    10,052
    113
    Writer
    Short North
    Ratings:
    +10,069 / 0 / -0
    #1021 Nathan, Jul 8, 2014
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
     
  2. Minidave

    Minidave Well-Known Member
    Lifetime Supporter

    Dec 22, 2009
    5,645
    4,605
    113
    Male
    Overland Park, Ks
    Ratings:
    +5,197 / 1 / -0
    #1022 Minidave, Jul 8, 2014
    How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Only one, but the lightbulb really has to want to change....
     
  3. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
    Supporting Member

    May 4, 2009
    8,767
    2,547
    113
    Bend, OR USA
    Ratings:
    +2,678 / 1 / -0
    #1023 ScottinBend, Jul 8, 2014
    Why do they have ear piercing while you wait?


    Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?
     
  4. DryMartini

    DryMartini New Member

    Dec 6, 2012
    1,048
    479
    0
    Ratings:
    +479 / 0 / -0
    #1024 DryMartini, Jul 9, 2014
    To show I'm keeping up with the times, I no longer have "senior moments." I have "transient memory card failures."
     
  5. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

    Mar 30, 2009
    25,144
    10,052
    113
    Writer
    Short North
    Ratings:
    +10,069 / 0 / -0
    #1025 Nathan, Jul 9, 2014
    Never moon a werewolf.
     
  6. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
    Supporting Member

    May 4, 2009
    8,767
    2,547
    113
    Bend, OR USA
    Ratings:
    +2,678 / 1 / -0
    #1026 ScottinBend, Jul 10, 2014
    Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
     
  7. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

    Jul 20, 2009
    1,650
    1,333
    113
    Highly motivated retiree
    In the here and now, for now.
    Ratings:
    +1,339 / 0 / -0
    #1027 Friskie, Jul 10, 2014
    How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?


    Two, one to hold the giraffe and the other to fill a bathtub with multi colored machine tools.
     
  8. TheModFather

    TheModFather Well-Known Member

    May 15, 2012
    6,023
    5,310
    113
    11 years in the ARMY, 2 years of being a multitale
    North Denver CO.
    Ratings:
    +5,322 / 0 / -0
    #1028 TheModFather, Jul 12, 2014
    [​IMG]
     
  9. DryMartini

    DryMartini New Member

    Dec 6, 2012
    1,048
    479
    0
    Ratings:
    +479 / 0 / -0
    #1029 DryMartini, Jul 13, 2014
    Italians use better and thicker metal in their San Marzano tomato cans than in their cars. (You've got to have priorities.)
     
  10. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
    Lifetime Supporter

    May 4, 2009
    25,021
    13,497
    113
    Burbs of Philly, PA
    Ratings:
    +14,644 / 10 / -4
    #1030 Dave.0, Jul 13, 2014
    This is our DRAGON Motto.:Thumbsup:
     
  11. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
    Supporting Member

    May 4, 2009
    8,767
    2,547
    113
    Bend, OR USA
    Ratings:
    +2,678 / 1 / -0
    #1031 ScottinBend, Jul 13, 2014
    Where does the white go when the snow melts?
     
  12. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
    Supporting Member

    May 4, 2009
    8,767
    2,547
    113
    Bend, OR USA
    Ratings:
    +2,678 / 1 / -0
    #1032 ScottinBend, Jul 15, 2014
    Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
     
  13. TexasChiliS

    TexasChiliS Well-Known Member

    May 5, 2009
    1,144
    73
    48
    Ratings:
    +73 / 0 / -0
    #1033 TexasChiliS, Jul 15, 2014
    Why do people keep finding Charmin toilet paper wrappers in the forest?
     
  14. DneprDave

    DneprDave Well-Known Member
    Supporting Member

    Oct 23, 2010
    2,959
    1,505
    113
    Engineer
    Pacific NW
    Ratings:
    +1,731 / 0 / -0
    #1034 DneprDave, Jul 15, 2014
    Because the pope $h!tz in the woods?
     
  15. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

    Jul 20, 2009
    1,650
    1,333
    113
    Highly motivated retiree
    In the here and now, for now.
    Ratings:
    +1,339 / 0 / -0
    #1035 Friskie, Jul 16, 2014
    "I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without his motives being questioned." A Concerned Citizen
     
  16. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
    Supporting Member

    May 4, 2009
    8,767
    2,547
    113
    Bend, OR USA
    Ratings:
    +2,678 / 1 / -0
    #1036 ScottinBend, Jul 16, 2014
    Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
     
  17. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
    Lifetime Supporter

    Sep 18, 2010
    7,820
    3,327
    113
    Retired CAL FIRE Battalion Chief
    The Great Irrigated Desert of Central CA
    Ratings:
    +3,328 / 0 / -0
    #1037 Firebro17, Jul 16, 2014
    The older I get, the only women I can effectively chase are going down hill.
     
  18. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

    Jul 20, 2009
    1,650
    1,333
    113
    Highly motivated retiree
    In the here and now, for now.
    Ratings:
    +1,339 / 0 / -0
    #1038 Friskie, Jul 16, 2014
    The older I get the bett...heck everyone know that one...now.....what was I gonna say?
     
  19. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
    Supporting Member

    May 4, 2009
    8,767
    2,547
    113
    Bend, OR USA
    Ratings:
    +2,678 / 1 / -0
    #1039 ScottinBend, Jul 17, 2014
    Why is lemonade made with artificial flavoring, while dishwasher soap is made with real lemons?
     
  20. teresa wood

    teresa wood Well-Known Member
    Lifetime Supporter

    Aug 21, 2012
    1,237
    761
    113
    Broker Associate Coldwell Banker, North Metro offi
    Arvada, Colorado
    Ratings:
    +761 / 0 / -0
    #1040 teresa wood, Jul 18, 2014
    If you drink rum before 10 a.m. you are not an alcoholic, you are a pirate.
     
Page 52 of 88

Share This Page