Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

As I've grown older, I've learned I can't please everyone all the time. But, I can usually manage to piss off just about anyone, most anytime.

 

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

 

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he got shot by the woman's husband... :frown2:

 

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

 

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

 

'Live' might not be the appropriate verb for one or the other living conditions depending upon the condition of the individual's condition.

 

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

 

My Dad was talking to my great uncle Bob:

Old people don't smell.

No Bob, old people can't smell.

 

I'm not saying, Let's kill all the stupid people... I'm just saying, let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.

 

...and finally (YAY!!!)

19. "My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

 

Is it just me, or do paint chips taste different than they used to?

 

Starkle starkle little twink,
Who the he11 you are I think.
I'm not under what you call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm just a little slort of sheep,
I'm not drunk like tinkle peep.
I don't know who is me yet,
But the drunker I stand here
The longer I get.
Just give me one more drink
To fill me cup,
'Cuz I got all day sober
To Sunday up.

 

My idea of sweeping a room normally involves a 3-5 man teem with guns...