"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants." Doesn't that also qualify for the "You're Older Than Dirt..." thread as well?
I went to Starbucks and ordered a 120 degree Caramel Macchiato. Then the girl asked me "would you like that hot or cold?" WTF :mad2: What part of 120 degree did you not understand! :rolleyes5:
There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
"Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?" Scott, that last one is drifting dangerously close to the profound.
Meteorologist: The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much screwed.
Y'all sure do things a little differently up there in Oregon.. Portland Police arrest 35 in Black Friday vegan strip club riot - That Oregon Life