Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

From a comedian, don't remember who.

"I've been married & divorced 3 times, and I'm tired of all the heartache & B.S., so now my plan is simple...... I'm just going to find a woman I know that I can learn to hate & just give her half my stuff.
If nothing else it'll save me in attorney fees...."

 

You know what burns my ass? a tall 3 foot flame.

 

Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.

 

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

 

The recipe said 'Set the oven to 180 degrees' so I did but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall.

 

It is said that if you line up all of the cars in the world, someone from California would be stupid enough to try and pass them...

Merry Christmas Everyone!

 

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

 

Women are like Ferraris...

Pretty to look at, FUN to drive...
But TOO damn expensive, they are always in the shop, and will leave you on the side of the road any chance they get!

 

What would this great country be without this land of ours?

-Ronald Reagan

Really think about it....nothing.

 

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool...

 

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

 

I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.

 

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

 

When I die I want my last words to be "I left a million dollars under the..."

 

"I've learned so much math in college that now I can tell if the big, fancy equations they have in movies and on TV are real or BS."

from my son coming home for Christmas

 

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it!

 

If a fat girl falls in the woods do the trees laugh?