Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ScottinBend, Dec 11, 2013.

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  1. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1401 ScottinBend, Dec 28, 2014
    In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
     
  2. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1402 ScottinBend, Dec 30, 2014
    Only a fool argues with a skunk, a mule or the cook.
     
  3. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    #1403 Friskie, Dec 30, 2014
    Our old Master Chief's version of that was: "Never get in a pi$$ing contest with a skunk." Good advice that stood up well during 30 years of business...and the previous few years with a particular gunner's mate.
     
  4. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1404 ScottinBend, Dec 31, 2014
    I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
     
  5. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1405 ScottinBend, Jan 3, 2015
    The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
     
  6. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
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    #1406 Dave.0, Jan 4, 2015
    [​IMG]
     
  7. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    #1407 Friskie, Jan 6, 2015
    Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
     
  8. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1408 ScottinBend, Jan 6, 2015
    Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.
     
  9. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
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    #1409 Dave.0, Jan 6, 2015
    Sooo true

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    #1410 Nathan, Jan 6, 2015
    I've obliviously not aged enough... yet. :devil:
     
  11. Dave.0

    Dave.0 Helix & RMW Powered
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    #1411 Dave.0, Jan 6, 2015
    Me either...:lol:
     
  12. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    #1412 Friskie, Jan 7, 2015
    Well, there's no accounting for those who go out looking for them...:biggrin5:
     
  13. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1413 ScottinBend, Jan 7, 2015
    The most dangerous position in which to sleep?


    With your feet on your office desk.
     
  14. DryMartini

    DryMartini New Member

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    #1414 DryMartini, Jan 8, 2015
    What's the difference between Roast Beef and Pea Soup?

    A: Anyone can roast beef.
     
  15. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1415 ScottinBend, Jan 9, 2015
    Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way,


    and the other is to let her have it.
     
  16. TheModFather

    TheModFather Well-Known Member

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    #1416 TheModFather, Jan 9, 2015
    Never make eye contact while eating a banana...

    NEVER!
     
  17. DryMartini

    DryMartini New Member

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    #1417 DryMartini, Jan 10, 2015
    I like my middle finger the best because it always sticks up for me!
     
  18. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    #1418 ScottinBend, Jan 10, 2015
    If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
     
  19. DryMartini

    DryMartini New Member

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    #1419 DryMartini, Jan 11, 2015
    Even Duct Tape can't fix stupid. But it can muffle the sound.
     
  20. cristo

    cristo Well-Known Member

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    #1420 cristo, Jan 11, 2015
    "Nobody looks good with brown lipstick on".

    Frank Zappa (RIP)
     
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