Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

"Stop trying to re-invent the wheel to run yourself over"

 

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife...? About 45 pounds.

 

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason!

 

#3
"Her body tensed and quivered as she felt wave after wave flow through it. I probably should've told her about the new electric fence."

 

#4
"As I lay there on the floor, my naked body covered in treacle and whipped cream, I heard those inevitable words . .. 'Clean up required on aisle 3."

 

"I was too popular in the MINI community..." Said Nobody...

Just please FFS don't crowd me all at once... That makes my PTSD act up, and you don't want that!

 

#5
"Are you ready to be tortured in a way only a woman can torture a man? she asked. I nodded nervously. 'OK' she said and ate half my chips."

 

House guests and fish should both be thrown out after three days.

 

That long?

 

#6
She was at the bottom of the stairs. Frantically I tore off her dress, bra and knickers. My heart was racing but I just managed to close the wardrobe door before she entered the bedroom.

 

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

 

#7
'Hurt me!' she begged, leaning over the dining table expectantly. 'OK,' I replied, 'Your turkey's too dry and your sprouts are overcooked.'

 

:cornut: For Alzheimer's take Aricept and Viagra such that you can remember who in the _uck you are.:yikes::yikes::smilewinkgrin::smilewinkgrin:

Jason

 

#8
She leant over the kitchen table. 'Smack that bottom,' she squealed, 'Smack it hard!' 'I am,' I said, 'But the ketchup just won't come out.'

 

So then, 1 really isn't the loneliest number.

 

If someone hits you over the head with a coffee cup, have you been mugged?

 

The Patriots just received their Super Bowl rings today. They were designed by Brady and Belichick.

 

Why when a woman does something wrong you never hear about it for the next ten years?