:cornut: Me too on both ex's. Then I found one with my standards and it lasted 31yrs until her death. Jason
A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot barbecue for a minute, it’s longer than any hour. That is relativity. – Albert Einstein
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy isn't it?" Second one says, "Nope, it's Thursday." Third guy chimes in and says, "Me too, let's go get a beer!"
Man orders his coffee without cream. Waitress tells him she's sorry but he'll have to have his coffee without milk, thy're out of cream.
A lady from Chicago is admitted to the hospital for an abortion. Two weeks later she gets a $1500.00 check in the mail. She phoned the hospital asking if this is from Obama Care. The hospital replies, "No it's from Crime Stoppers."
Is that a "Bushism"? sounds like one..... "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—" "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."— "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"— "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."—
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says; "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Gotta love sweet, little old Texas women... This little old Texas grandmother was driving across a high bridge in Austin, when she came upon a young guy fixin to jump. (fixin in Texas means just about to take some kinda action) She stopped her car, rolled down her window and said, "Don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "My mother and father are dead." She then said, "Well then son, think of your sweet wife and precious children." He replied, "I'm not married and I have no children." She then said, "Well then honey, you just remember the Alamo then." The young man said, "What's the Alamo?" She replied, "Well bless your little heart, you go right ahead and jump, you're hold'n up traffic!"