Fun & Games Scott's funny saying of the day......

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ScottinBend, Dec 11, 2013.

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  1. Jason Montague

    Jason Montague New Member
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    :cornut: Me too on both ex's. Then I found one with my standards and it lasted 31yrs until her death.:Thumbsup:

    Jason
     
  2. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    Nine out of ten men prefer women with large breasts.
    The tenth man prefers the other nine men.
     
  3. Jason Montague

    Jason Montague New Member
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    :cornut: In San Francisco the separate the men from the boys with a crow bar. :Thumbsup:

    Jason
     
  4. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    Skydiving without a parachute is a once in a lifetime experience.
     
  5. DneprDave

    DneprDave Well-Known Member
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    "Oh, you have a Phd? So do I!
    Um, we're talking about Post hole diggers, right?"
     
  6. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    I'm no Proctologist, but I can recognize an a$$ hole when I see one.
     
  7. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    Totally car related :crazy:
     

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  8. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
     
  9. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. He sits on a hot barbecue for a minute, it’s longer than any hour. That is relativity. – Albert Einstein
     
  10. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy isn't it?" Second one says, "Nope, it's Thursday." Third guy chimes in and says, "Me too, let's go get a beer!"
     
  11. Friskie

    Friskie Well-Known Member

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    Man orders his coffee without cream.
    Waitress tells him she's sorry but he'll have to have his coffee without milk, thy're out of cream.
     
  12. Nathan

    Nathan Founder

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    [​IMG]
     
  13. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    A lady from Chicago is admitted to the hospital for an abortion. Two weeks later she gets a $1500.00 check in the mail. She phoned the hospital asking if this is from Obama Care. The hospital replies, "No it's from Crime Stoppers."
     
  14. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
     
  15. Minidave

    Minidave Well-Known Member
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    or.....

    I got up this morning with nothing to do, and by noon I was nearly half done! :D
     
  16. ScottinBend

    ScottinBend Space Cowboy
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    If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
     
  17. Minidave

    Minidave Well-Known Member
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    Is that a "Bushism"? sounds like one.....

    "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again."—"

    "I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."—

    "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"—

    "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."—
     
  18. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    I'm voting Democrat because Freedom of Speach is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
     
  19. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    #1639 Firebro17, Jul 13, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2015
    A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bartender says; "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
     
  20. Firebro17

    Firebro17 Dazed, but not Confused
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    Gotta love sweet, little old Texas women... This little old Texas grandmother was driving across a high bridge in Austin, when she came upon a young guy fixin to jump. (fixin in Texas means just about to take some kinda action)

    She stopped her car, rolled down her window and said, "Don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father." He replied, "My mother and father are dead." She then said, "Well then son, think of your sweet wife and precious children." He replied, "I'm not married and I have no children." She then said, "Well then honey, you just remember the Alamo then." The young man said, "What's the Alamo?"

    She replied, "Well bless your little heart, you go right ahead and jump, you're hold'n up traffic!"
     

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