Two great Craigslist auto listings

bee1000 · Oct 27, 2010

Those of you who read Jalopnik will have seen these today. For the rest of you, I offer these excerpts. Click the links for full listings.

1967 Mercedes 250S

1967 Mercedes 250S - $900 Four speed manual transmission, engine was swapped for a 2.8L. Comes with several boxes of extra parts, and a spare set of wheels with studded snow tires. This car is driveable but the alternator output is weak. Requires a couple minutes to warm up in the morning. Shifter is loose and the gears are a little tricky to find. You have to stand on the clutch to shift gears. This is really a parts car - unless you truely want a project.

This Mercedes has no seatbelts in the back, and the ones in the front are of the airliner lap-best variety. There are safer cars out there for sale. Cars with thick slab like steel pillars cocooning you from the outside world. Cars with 7 airbags. Cars with airbags for your knees. They have fancy GPSs that will tell you where you should go; they have systems that will brake for you, before you even notice that the car in front of you is slowing down.

This Mercedes has none of those things...
Click to expand...

Same guy wrote an ad for this 1977 Mercury Cougar http://ochaye.strangepics.net/temp/cougar.html

Two words: Bench seats. You can't buy cars like this any more: the world has changed, and maybe that's a good thing. Still, something was lost when we stopped being able to seat three across the front. Drive around with your arm around your girlfriend(or boyfriend, It's an equal opportunity Cougar!). Drive around with awkward love triangles across the front seat, I do not care. The sensation of plowing down the I5 at 85 miles an hour plowing past tiny Corolla and Smart Cars like one of Hannibal's elephants at Rome simply can't be matched.

So this is less of a car and more of a Adventure...
Click to expand...

iwashmycar · Oct 27, 2010

gotta love CL

CHKMINI · Oct 27, 2010

The girl riding in the back seat is a different person than the girl changing the tire and walking away...what's up with that? Oh the car...looks like a real fixer-upper

Justa Jim · Oct 27, 2010

Honest and funny to boot. I'm sure there are folks out there looking for these very cars. I am not one of them, but they are out there someplace.

Jim

Tall Mini · Oct 27, 2010

"They don't have horns that sound with the arrogance and fury of some long dead Mongol warlord."

That is fantastic!

moreorless · Oct 27, 2010

The Benz appears to be Hot Chocolate in color.

And the Cougar....you could get some hood stripes and have a wonderful counterfeit MINI.

Lots of potential there folks.

...Les

CHKMINI · Oct 27, 2010

Which Cougar?...the one in the back seat or the other car?

Rixter · Oct 27, 2010

Old Craiglsit ad you might enjoy...

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: sale-*********@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-12-04, 5:15PM
MST OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop. This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got
special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man. My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash. To sweeten the
deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on. B*****[email protected]
Click to expand...

TGS91 · Oct 28, 2010

Last line of the Cougar add is a gem

'I recommend this car for busboys, poets, social workers, students, artists, musicians, magicians, mathematicians, rednecks, maniacs, yodelers, plagiarists and highschool kids who need somewhere to f(ornicate).'

Eric@Helix · Oct 28, 2010

All of the above makes me happy.

Johngo · Oct 28, 2010

I don't think the one changing the tire is a woman... And if it is, I am scared.

M^Cubed · Oct 28, 2010

CHKMINI said: ↑

The girl riding in the back seat is a different person than the girl changing the tire and walking away...what's up with that? Oh the car...looks like a real fixer-upper
Click to expand...

There is one girl in the passenger seat.. the other photos are dudes!

CHKMINI · Oct 28, 2010

Some of us old guys just can't tell the difference anymore :shocked:

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