Most liked posts in thread: Vets Help Me understand

I thank ALL veterans of ALL generations because all (4) of my brothers and my Father are veterans and they all made it back home.

"They" All those that were drafted or chose to enlist to put their life on the line for our country and what we the USA stand for we should all be eternally grateful. I know I am.

I cannot fix how other vetrerians were treated when they came home long ago but I can show them honor and thankfulness for their service today.

 

I'm with soldiers everyday and most do appreciate recognition/gratitude. There are a few still dealing with issues that may cause a bit of a "chip on the shoulder" attitude. I agree that it does cause you to wonder about their motivation or why they may be cynical and/or angry. They are the minority and still warrant compassion and respect even if they are not very gracious in their response. Some of the stories and events that have been shared with me give a whole new perspective....

 

Good article, it is thought provoking. I've never served, but I've always had a tremendous respect and admiration for those who have, and I've been fortunate enough to have befriended a number of veterans of various ages who have had various degrees of exposure to combat--from none, to seriously wounded. I get where he's coming from, although I don't agree with it. He's totally 100% entitled to feel that way--he experienced it, we didn't. I'm certainly not going to pass judgement, it's not my place.

I think where he's coming from is the "thank you" comes across like someone who hasn't experienced something saying "I know" to someone who actually has--no, you don't know, you are trying to be sympathetic by saying that, and it rubs wrong sometimes. And maybe he's right; there are probably many people who are saying "thank you" to make themselves feel better rather than honoring a soldier.

However, if you've ever been in an airport, and seen a group of soldiers exit a plane, and see everyone stop what they're doing and applaud, it's a fairly powerful, and very genuine act.

 

I left Nam and the Army in 2-71. I never once heard it until when my son

first left for college in 1999. I will still remember this til the day I die. We

were sitting in front of one of the college building waiting for an orientation

to start when it somehow came up that I had been in Nam. This kid we had

just met said thanks for serving and that I must hear that a lot. To say that

I was speechless was an understatement. I told him that he was the first

person that had ever said that to me; then he was speechless. It was some-

thing that I will never forget.

 

I think I can understand it just a little. The words 'Thank you for your service', can begin to sound trite and hollow, kind of like 'have a nice day'. Automatic reflex expressions do become annoying and over the past few years, this one has even though it is said sincerely. One has to ask, is it a guilty reaction to the way returning vets were treated back in '69. I remember hearing a commentator remark about that and the difference in the way soldiers were greeted when they returned from the confrontations with Noriega in Panama and the Grenada expedition. I'm a member of the Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club and consider myself a veteran only by virtue of being in a combat zone and having the luxury of free postage.

 

You are so right, I just wish that I had the ability to say it like you just did.

 

I have known a number of vets, friends and family, over a lot of different wars, WWII on up, and they all appreciated the thanks. But some might add that "they did their job", or they "did what was needed to be done". Some I was closer with did say they had a little guilt but mostly for not being able to do more.

I thank all vets and I do it with sincerity, a hand shank and look in the eye.

 

A "thank you for service", if offered sincerely, should be fine for most vets. However, there are some who are still dealing with anger, loss, guilt, etc. Sometimes it is diagnosed as PTSD, sometimes not.

I first put on the uniform in 1972 and am still serving as I sit here at Fort Sam Houston. I have worked with a number of soldiers the last few years who are still dealing with issues related to their deployments. For those few, a "thank you" may remind them of something they are still having difficulty dealing with. But, for the majority acknowledgement of their service and sacrifice is appreciated.

 

When I have occasion to speak with those folks I always say thanks.

 

I am a vet and I read this article. I'm not sure what the issue is with someone saying thanks. I

 

I see your point but a lot of the younger generation have thanked me for my service so they had nothing to do with how NAM vets were treated. Most times it is another vet saying thanks which carries more weight to me cause they get it!

 

Wow Steve, great post. Brought in some good points I never considered before.

 

I wonder if there is an increase of "Thanks for your service" when movies like American Sniper are in the theater and if it dies off after those movies are out of the theater. If so, I could understood the questioning of the sincerity of these types of "Thank yous".

Related question for all of you that do this (and I do not doubt any of your sincerity), do you also thank firefighters, LEOs, EMTs, or ER staff?

 

I'd like to speak to the second paragraph if I may. Having spent the greater part of 33 years in the fire service, and having interacted rather closely with the other three service provider professionals you listed, for those same years, I came to a conclusion years ago regarding receiving praise for doing a job to help someone in need.

I believe, and I do believe I'm not alone in this thought process, that the general public for whom we serve(d) are recipient to the service at an extremely stressful point in their lives. Whether it be fire, police or medical related, most folks don't often experience a personal emergency of a magnitude requiring a response or treatment of this nature. Moreover, those same folks (unless they are in one of the aforementioned fields) really do not understand what the jobs entail, nor do they really understand that the professionals providing the services are really just like them. The difference is that we chose to specialize in caring for others by providing emergency services, whatever be the chosen field.

People express their sincere gratitude (in most all cases) at the moment they feel a relief from their stressors, typically as the emergency winds to a conclusion. A first responder accepts the thanks with grace and goes about their day, preparing for the next call for service. This seems a bit simplified I'm guessing. But, it is a simple process for most emergency workers. It is because it is what we do. It's what we've been trained to do. It's what we love to do... The thank yous (and hugs in many cases), though unnecessary, are very much appreciated by everyone. It is not, nor has it (or will it) ever be an expectation. The view of the worker is simply; "I'm just doing my job and I love doing it. I'm glad we could be of some help."

Now, for the down side... The services an emergency worker provides are not without their own stresses though. Many individuals, including myself, have and do reach levels of overload. Many times these overloads result in a breakdown. Some are cured through a series of joking with fellow workers, while others are filled with tears. Further, some workers resort to alcohol and drug use to mask the real issue at the root of their problems. Still others deal with their stress through expressing anger and rage, as well as domestic violence. To effectively deal with the stresses emergency workers carry, an extensive Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) program has been developed. Sessions are provided for those folks who have suffered through incident trauma and are carrying with them the extra baggage that needs to be brought to the forefront. Having received the training as a peer counselor and having sat in at least five sessions, I believe in this as a means for someone to be able to shed their demons in a controlled and professional environment.

Whether it be an emergency worker as was originally mentioned in the question, or a current and/or former military service man or woman, it is extremely important, in my humble opinion, to acknowledge their service with sincerity. Whether or not the recipient of the praise and thanks accepts the gesture is entirely up to them. In my heart, I believe every body appreciates that someone took the time to just say "Thanks."

 

I retired in '88 and don't remember anyone thanking me until the last 10-12 years. It still happens so seldom that it always catches me by surprise and I'm usually a little embarrassed because the first thing that runs through my head is "for what?"
Doesn't really bother me, and definitely is better than some of the remarks/comments/epithets that were directed at me when traveling in uniform in the late 60's and early 70's.