Most liked posts in thread: Whoops... - Caption this Picture

"Hello Officer... what can I do for you? The fuel pump hose? What fuel pump hose? OH! THAT fuel pump hose! Oh yeah... I can explain that. I was pulled over here, about to take a dump in my ex-husband's MINI and.... what? Yeah... that's what I said... take a dump in his MINI... the SOB deserves it. Am I telling this story or you? So, anyway I'm about to take a dump in his MINI when this guy comes flying by in a really loud purple-ish blue MINI with vents in the hood... yeah... that's right... vents in the hood! I couldn't believe it either! Like what did he think he was driving?... anyway he came flying by, good thing I already had my pants down cause I almost **** myself it was so loud, and this big hose came flying off of the back and landed right at my feet, scuffing my new boots, aren't they cute? I got 'em on sale... well, they were buy-one-get-one and I had to buy another pair of cute pumps, but they were both a crazy good deal and who is going to pay to fix these? You can't find a good shoe repair place like you used to. A few year ago down on main there was this great shop... Officer? Why do you have your gun out?"

 

....And that's when the bright lights came. Then these long dangly black things came out of the spaceship, attached them to my gas tank, and pulled me and my car into the ship. They tinted my windows, forced me to color my hair with cheap hair coloring, shod me in knee high boots, coerced me to wear tan leotards that are far, far too tight, and forced me to eat an entire bag of Reese's peanut butter cups. But then one of the aliens notice my Palo Uber light bar; they all proceeded to mock me in alienese, and immediately dropped me off at the local Wal-mart parking lot, where you found me...

 

this isnt the key to the bathroom?

 

Gas hose! I don't care about that! Look at this hot mess of a hair color.

 

Hosier !!!

 

What do you mean, I don't get a free car wash, too?

 

Meet Miss Mini Boo Boo :crazy:

 

And there I was, doing the potty dance, just like this, when this gas hose came from out of nowhere....

-or-

Do you think this new gas hose makes my ass look big?

 

At least it didn't hurt the car!

 

LOOK! It matches....I had to have it.

 

Who stole my pants?

 

Oh my God that was funny as hell. :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

It also sounds like what it would be like to talk with Taylor Swift. :mad2::mad2::mad2:

 

DID I DO THAT???

 

I'm really a blonde.....

 

"How I Met My Local Gas Station Owner"

 

Wait...that's not supposed to happen...??

 

"See, I told you I didn't wanna pump my own gas!"

 

:cornut: Hi. I'm an inspector from the EPA. You just flunked inspection and will be fined after you fix this gas hose. :eek6::eek6::crazy::crazy::lol::lol:

Jason

 

What, me worry?:idea:

 

"And here I thought the new drive-thru colonoscopy clinic was such a great idea..."